Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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