Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i will never coherently bang her
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
