The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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