the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize