Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
