He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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