I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize