U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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