Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
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She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
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Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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