with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
