I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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