It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize