my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
