glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
