somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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