just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
