I didn't shave. On purpose
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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