Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I will die if light touches me.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
