Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
