ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
