so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Randomize
