I want to have your abortion
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize