Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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