Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
