ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
