did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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