birth control should be required to get into college
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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