You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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