Having a random hookup so left but love u
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize