i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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