So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
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