I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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