i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize