He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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