u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
