Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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