# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
