he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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