Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I want to walk on stilts...naked
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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