My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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