i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
