I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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