his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
