Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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