I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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