Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Randomize