One girl and one boy is just not enough.
id be glad to
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Randomize
