I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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