is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
