So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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