The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
