would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
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WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
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Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
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