I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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