White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
