it's too hot outside to masturbate.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
