Sponge bath it is.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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