we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Found the puke drawer
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
