Don't make out with my wife yet
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
