i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
