belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Randomize
