No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
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