After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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