if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
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