Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom

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(760): View more from California

It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.

Fav 23 1376 4113
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(901): View more from Tennessee

Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy

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(860): View more from Connecticut

You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche

Fav 5 977 704
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(647): View more from Ontario

Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward

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(519): View more from Ontario

ORGASMS AND PIZZA

(519): View more from Ontario

PIZZA AND ORGASMS

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(727): View more from Florida

We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.

Fav 0 26 26
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