So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
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