508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
