So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize
