Sry I called you an 8
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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