found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
